Define LOVE

We all going through hard times and good times, nd those bad times are really shitty. People who you thought their ur family, friends, or even ur other half can hurt you like DAYUMMM!!!!! WHAT THE .......! But the thing is I do believe in God nd I also believe in the Evil way. And God allows those bad times to happen so we all can be a better us and learn from every situations that for us impossible to except. I want to share whit u my brothers and sisters what happend 2 days ago. I SAW THE DEVILL!!! and seriouslyyy dayummmm.......

Me and my fiance ( Bezaleel Subhan) we wanted to find a place where we can have our head office for PEAZMAKERZ and a dancing studio where we can teach. Then one of my brothers has a God mother who realllyy love him alot she has this really big house whit a dance studio and an office but nobody is making use of it. She dreamed that her childeren would take over the place and run the family business. So then she met subhan and me, we talked and talked we were like wow all this woman dreams those are our dreams to, like helping people , serving god in our own funky but holy ways whit dance . This woman who we call Mami she is a verry warm hearted person, verry giving she is an humantarian.

Then she decided that we could live whit her, at first I was like is this foreals this is to good to be true, but then i said i just go whit the flow and follow god. When the days and weeks passed by everything went well she was so amazing loving and i was verry proud to have a mother figure. She was in my eyes verry cool a mother who love God but in Rock and Roll way, at some point i was thinking THIS IS TO GOOD TO BE TRUE. I got from there really carefull and i already could smell what she was up to, she was verry niceto Subhan and me just to take Subhan for her self and get ridd of me.

AND YOU KNOW WHATT!!
She manipulated everybody saying that i wasnt a good girl that i was flirting whit her husband, and told my fiance OMG.... Some point he believed her and he asked me questions that really hurted me , i cried i was WHATT how can this happen, she was like a MOM to me.
I went home and had a real bad feeling, I prayed to god that i dont care how he does it but OH LORD PLEASE prove that im not a bad girl.
I waited on the dining table and yes there she came my mami from upstairs running tried to kill me she looked she was like u know exorcism demons in her that really shocked me but subhan was right on time to catch her lift her to the other side of the room and Screamed at her IN THE NAME OF JESUS U ARE NOT THE MAMI THAT I KNOW , mami did alot of cursing said to me " fucking whore, bitch ur Satan ur not good etc" . All i could do was pray i prayed so hard my heart was beating sooooooo fast not of me being scared but more shocked I was in pain, But God said " Dont you worry erma everything is going to be oke, this has to happen so this woman would get healed of manny years of sorrow. Dont worry, have faith in me because I love you and nobody can hurt you. Dont look at human because human can hurt you look at the God in them and the good things. Surrender everything to me so i will work for you, still love her nomather what because whit Love you can make the change in you, change in people and change for the world."
My heart said that i had to go to mami ask for her forgiveness even though i wasnt wrong so i did it I walked carefully towards her and said " Mami I Love you please forgive me i dont have any intension to hurt your feelings" I kneeled down and wanted to kiss her feet, she said " your lying bitch dont pretend ur inocent" and so she spitted in my face. I said " God i did what u said, now everything is up to you i dont know how u do it, you got to do your thing right now."
Daddy from upstairs came down really angry screamed at mommy" HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" like he never screamed before and wanted to hit her, but there was subhan who took care of him.
Mami forced daddy to tell everybody that I was flirting whit daddy, but daddy said no thats not true erma never flirted whit me and so she got more angry then before. We all just decided to take mami back to her room and we all prayed for her, for this family and for everybody that are close to us. So i packed my things and i left out of that house stayed at my bestfriend/sister Stania shes such a amazing woman.

Subhan said if u have a problem or a bad situation dont run away from it but find the key to be closer to heaven. I found the key LOVE even though alot of people know what love means but they only know the meaning of it but not what it really is in life. When people hurt us soo bad we have to be humble love them unconditionally, because if there are people who hate you and you hate back and fight its soo easy to fight back whit hate, but at the end u will get stressed and cant stopp thinking about the bad situation you were in for maybe days, weeks or even YEARS of sorrow. But if u fight back whit love unconditionaly u dont expect anything back from another but really love unconditionally even when they hurt you YOU LOVE them uncondtionaly. Thats what God is to and he said be an imatator of me GOD is GOOD so whe have to be just like our father to make this world a better place for you for me for ur childeren for the generations after us. We have to humble our selfs in battelfields we might hurt at that point but at the end of the battle we feel like WINNNERSS!!

For mami if u read this, I do love you soo much and i will always see u as a beautifull person, powerfull, smart, inspiring, creative woman. Who loves people so much I am still proud to have a mami like you verry rock and roll. I want to say sorry again for hurtting ur feelings and i didnt had any intesions what so ever to hurt you heart. i believe and have faith that god will bring us together again to be a wonderfull family a dream team who will help people whit our own rock and roll way. I changed alot because of you mami, i was verry stuborn maybe sometimes still stuborn but not that much as i use to was. Your beautifull words of passion and love will always be remember in my heart, written in my heart and i will tell my childeren, grand childeren how amazing person you are that saved me from the erma that i use to was. Whitout you i would not know what the true deffinition of LOVE is thank you mami.


1 John 4 18:21

Such Love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love eachother because he loved us first. If someone says " I love god" but hates a Christian brother or Sister, that person is a liar, for if we dont love people we can see, how can we love God who we cannot see? And he has given us this command. Those who love God must also love their Brothers and Sisters.


I love you all


Erma Engelien

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